Dan
New Member
Posts: 94
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Roses
Jan 21, 2009 14:51:43 GMT -5
Post by Dan on Jan 21, 2009 14:51:43 GMT -5
I used to walk behind my house; We had a garden back there And in it was a rose bush. Mother always pruned it without rush; Each movement was deliberate, Almost done with some enjoyment. She pruned so much in the garden, But I never saw the reason.
I would watch her most times Listening to her songs and rhymes As she worked tirelessly among the thorns; Her gloves always came back torn. I scarcely knew why she continued. "Doesn't it hurt?" I always asked. And she would always reply "Yes," Then smile and return to her mess. Each time that gave me the thought That she knew something I did not.
One day, when I asked, A moment in silent thought, she waited, And then invited me to her Causing me, from my silent corner, to stir. She pulled me close and pointed out Into the dense thicket Dotted with bulbs of bloomed red. Her pointing continued Until I saw a flower, pale, and pink, Crumbling, dying, thirsting for drink. Suddenly, she cut it With one swift movement, And wordlessly bid me wait.
Weeks later, in the garden, I noticed That in the spot my mother had attacked, A thin green sprout had risen, Stretched out if just awoken. My mother moved beside me stealthily And spoke to me quietly: "This is your answer. This is why When roses crumble, wither, and dry-- Although my hands may bleed-- The flowers must be pruned Else--you should know-- The roses will never grow."
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Roses
Jan 21, 2009 14:59:47 GMT -5
Post by Gillian on Jan 21, 2009 14:59:47 GMT -5
DAN. Your here? At the meeting. DUDE. Who are you. I want to complement you on your story!
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Roses
Jan 21, 2009 15:01:00 GMT -5
Post by blake24 on Jan 21, 2009 15:01:00 GMT -5
Intesresting. really poetic dan.
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Dan
New Member
Posts: 94
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Roses
Jan 21, 2009 15:01:27 GMT -5
Post by Dan on Jan 21, 2009 15:01:27 GMT -5
Um...I'm sitting right across from you...
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Roses
Jan 21, 2009 15:12:12 GMT -5
Post by Amry on Jan 21, 2009 15:12:12 GMT -5
Was the... not-rhyme scheme intentional?
I like it a lot. I like how it gets the point across very simply. But I was just curious if there was any kind of planning to the lines that did rhyme.
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Dan
New Member
Posts: 94
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Roses
Jan 21, 2009 15:20:18 GMT -5
Post by Dan on Jan 21, 2009 15:20:18 GMT -5
It has slant rhymes in couplets; check the ends of every word. They match the one before it.
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Roses
Jan 22, 2009 14:54:37 GMT -5
Post by Midnighter on Jan 22, 2009 14:54:37 GMT -5
Wow.
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Roses
Jan 22, 2009 14:57:40 GMT -5
Post by Midnighter on Jan 22, 2009 14:57:40 GMT -5
That was amazing. I think you have a bright future as a storybook writer. If you choose so of course. I love how the rhyme scheme is present, but so subtle it only noticable the second time you read it. The Storyline draws all attention. Simply Marvelous
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Dan
New Member
Posts: 94
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Roses
Jan 22, 2009 18:38:15 GMT -5
Post by Dan on Jan 22, 2009 18:38:15 GMT -5
Thanks
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cobaltwolf92
Fresh Meat
We sing, we dance, we hunt things
Posts: 45
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Roses
Jan 22, 2009 20:10:10 GMT -5
Post by cobaltwolf92 on Jan 22, 2009 20:10:10 GMT -5
this is a nice little story
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Roses
Jan 22, 2009 21:31:09 GMT -5
Post by Midnighter on Jan 22, 2009 21:31:09 GMT -5
i wish i could write stories most of the little talent i have lies with poems
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Roses
Apr 1, 2009 18:26:03 GMT -5
Post by Midnighter on Apr 1, 2009 18:26:03 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,300][shadow=purple,left,300]Where'd all the good people go? [/shadow][/glow]
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